Pizza Math Calculators

Last week my friend Shelly had a children’s themed karate and pizza birthday party, and it was amazing- EXCEPT they cut the pizza slices in half like when you were a kid.

Even as a kid I did not fall for this. I was like, “Yeah, I want the regular human being-sized slice, not this cocktail party appetizer version. Why don’t you get your cheap ass back in the station wagon, Mrs. Hargrove, and pick up a decent amount of pizza?”

Pizza Math = Hard

Sharing pizza with friends can be difficult, mostly because pizza math can be complicated.

Often you’ve got 3 people competing for 8 slices. Now the proper etiquette is that everyone gets two slices and once those slices are consumed, stand by for further instructions.

Most likely, one of the three people will volunteer to forgo their slice because that person is putting up a sort of “I’m not a pig” image campaign.

But if no one gives on their slice, the only way to proceed is to cut the remaining two slices into thirds, giving each person 2/3 of the two slices.

Also, be aware of the person cutting the thirds. He may have ulterior motives.

Like, he wants more pizza!


P.S. Pizza good.

Daily Video

Ever wonder what those dudes are saying in a flame throwing rap battle? Here's a translation quick and easy to understand!

Daily Video

Don't ever be the first person to fall asleep drunk at a party!

Live at MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Hey champ, welcome back!

The end of the semester is apporoaching, which means that there's only a couple episodes of my radio show "Evolution" left. It airs Wednesdays at 5:30 on nr92.com. If you want to hear some songs send me an email at evolutionnr92@gmail.com or call me at 471-8833 during the show!

So let's get down to business.

The other day I thought it would be funny watch some MuchMusic. That channel never fails for some great comedy.

Whether it's the deer in the headlights hosts, the emo teens with skinny jeans, or the pre-pubescent suburban gangstas, I always let out a little chuckle when I turn on the MuchMusic.

But this time I let out more than a chuckle.

I was flat out rolling at the tweens screaming at the cast of the upcoming "film," "Twilight."

The only people laughing harder than me would be the Hollywood execs, who'll no doubt be rolling in dough in the coming weeks. And all they had to do was dump out a lame script, hire lame actors, and ride the "Hype Wave."

So the next time your resident Creationist denies our evolution from apes, turn on Live@Much and tell me how we're so much more sophisticated than the that family of chimps bouncing off their cages.

If anything I gotta give credit to the chimps. At least they don't hang on every word that drips from the mouth of Ben Mulroney.

Daily Video

This is a hilarious commercial. 

Daily Video

Stand up comedy from Mike Birbigilia. One of the best comedians working today.

Daily Video

A scene from "Coming to America." Eddie Murphy at his best!

Daily Video

12 quick impressions.

Daily Video

Here's what the Sopranos would look like if they were on the Family Channel.

Daily Video

In the 70's there was a radio DJ who advocated for civil rights and was the voice of the "black man" in Washington D.C. His name was Petey Greene. Here's a hilarious clip of his TV special.

Daily Video

Here's a song from Jim Carroll called "People Who Die." The only studio version i could find had this weird anime cartoon thing goin on. i dunno kinda cool. personally, i minimized the window and let the music encompass my mind.

Count em down

HeYO! That's my Sylvester Stallone impression. In text. 

The greatest film makers ever are the Coen Brothers.

There I said it.

And your eyeballs popped outta your head and you was like "wha?? chaa?"

Deal with it. If you don't agree, then think of someone better. ANYONE... I dare you. 

You could come up with a better all around director like Kubrick or Scorsese.

You could come up with a better all around writer like Paul Schrader or even Tarrantino.

But none of those fools can do it all like the Coens.

Especially with such consistency.

The films they've written, produced and directed are ALL classics. 

Some of the greatest acting performances ever have come from their movies. E.g. Gabriel Byrne in "Miller's Crossing," Steve Buschemi and Frances McDormand in "Fargo," and my personal favorite is John Turturro in "Barton Fink." The list goes on and on. 

So basically, the reason for this lovefest is to encourage you to indulge yourself in the glory of film perfection. 

Whether it's comedy in "The Big Lebowski," romance in "Blood Simple," or utter drama perfection in "Barton Fink," the next time you're at BlockBuster avoid the "ACTION THRILL RIDE OF A LIFETIME" and get a Coen Bro's original. Your brain will thank you.

Video of the day

Here's a re-enactment of a great scene from the movie "Fargo."

Video of the Day

Video of the Day

Daily Video

Here's Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis. My Heroes.

Moral Conundrum

A moral conundrum perhaps.

You have the choice of 2 options with which you must follow the rest of your life by.

1. No art/music/entertainment but you can have sex. By art, I mean no listening to music EVER, no reading literature, no movies, no tv, nothing. ...I think you get it. BUT you can "fornicate" all you want and "pleasure yourself," etc.

2. No sex BUT you can have art. No "pleasuring yourself." None of that. And you still have the same sex drive. But you get all the art you want. Unlimited movies and music and literature and paintings.

Personally, I'd go with option number two. No hesitation. I'm counting on Mother Nature to take care of the dirty work while I crank "Dark Side of the Moon" and watch "Wizard Of Oz."

Tell me what you think.

2 quebec comedians prank called Palin! Here's the video:

A day before the election, here's Sarah Palin's Greatest Hits!

Video for November 2

Here's why Jim Rome became famous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HNgqQVHI_8

Favorite video of the day

Hey! Here's my favorite video of the day. I'll post a new one every day from now on. 

This is the funniest video I've seen about Sarah Palin. This woman is a comedy gold mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZsO7dZ__iw

Shell out the cash

Hello you. You're my favorite person in the world. You always stop by for a visit with biscuits and tea in hand, willing to talk politics and stuff.

Speaking of politics, the American Presidential race is getting really heated and both sides are pulling out all the stops. (If there are any stops left to pull out...)

Wednesday night Barack Obama spent $1 million for 3 different networks to play his 30 minute "infomercial." IN PRIME TIME!

This guy must have an elite team of advisors.

 There's no way one person could be so clever. 

Or rich.

With only 6 days left until decision day, the timing couldn't be better. 

I think most people make their decisions on what the TV tells them to do and Obama is hitting the couch potatoes where they hurt. 

Meanwhile, McCain and Palin are "feuding" in the middle of their own party.

They should turn this into a "Family Feud."

I'm taking the McCain's anyday over the Palin's. 

That Cindy McCain looks like she's part robot and probably has a 2.4Ghz processor as a brain. 

Just imagine the trivia knowledge she could cram into that hard drive.

And Johnny Boy's already proven he ain't human after surviving that P.O.W. camp.

Superhuman's the McCain's might be, but they won't win the election. 

Obama just can't be beaten. 

By humans, aliens or robots.

Just ask Hillary Clinton.

TWO movie reviews!!!

Oliver Stone’s “bio-pic” of everyone’s favorite president, George W. Bush is a film that made me smile.

I'm a closet fan of Dubya... I think it’s my masochistic nature, and the movie reminded me of all the reasons I get a kick out of Bush.

The disposition of a kitten, Sincere ignorance and always looking to make people smile.

Ace actor Josh Brolin turns in the greatest role of his career.

Going into the theatre I was worried I would just be looking at lame impressions of famous politicians, but Brolin and rising star Elizabeth Banks jump off the screen in their respective roles.

There will be Oscar nominations from this film. Don't miss it!


A new DVD release is Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull.

It was a huge summer success, grossing almost 200 million dollars. But, I waited until now to watch it and was pleasantly surprised.

A ridiculous story, and over the top acting require you to suspend your disbelief for about 90 minutes.

So if you can do THAT, then you’ll have a blast watching Indiana Jones in his latest adventure.

Grant Rant #1

There comes a time in everyones life where they have to make a monumental choice.

A decision that will shake the path of time.

A fork in the road that has 2 diverging paths with which we examine the issues and figureout a way to benefit the world and mankind.

This decision I'm talking about is...MAC OR PC.

Mac or pc mac or pc... I hear people yelling about it all the time.

I see commercials on TV with one making fun of the other and the other deciding not to fightback and instead lie in the fetal postion while it takes a massive marketing beating.

I've seen things I can't erase when it comes to mac vs. pc fights.

Nerds getting beaten with their mighty mouses. Apple dorks having their brains exploded by excel spreadsheets. It's not easy living in a world like this.

My dreams are haunted and some nights I barely get my 11 hours of deep REM sleep.

So in a world where the battle of mac and pc wages on, I have one piece of advice for you.

Buy a pc. Buy a mac. Heck even buy a commodore 64.

Take it to Papua, New Guinea and fascinate the tribespeople with your "magic box."

You'll be like C3PO in "Return of the Jedi" when he meets the Ewoks.

And if theres someone I've always wanted to be, its C3PO.

Or Anthony Daniels. The actor who played C3PO.

Or Oprah.

Science

So i've been reading about biology and chemistry and stuff. Especially brain chemistry. Your brain has all these molecules and chemicals in it. We are reaching the point in modern science where the brain is almost conquered. NOT. It's totally trial and error. Every week there's a new drug or prescription that totally flips your behaviour and attitude. It's like A Clockwork Orange. It is in times like these that we must tread with caution. Or else our brains will explode. And then you'll be sorry.

mosquito

publishing videos is fun. i just published videos. it was fun. theres this freakin mosquito flying around me and he or she or it won't go away. it is an immortal mosquito. it might even be a fruit fly. i eat fruit. its kind of gross when you think that the fruit you eat has fly eggs in it. blechh. 

but maybe that's why i have become so powerful. from eating the eggs of insects.  ...now that i have discovered and revealed my secret to you, i will have to kill you. either that or save up and buy one of those men in black mind eraser things. whichever is easier.

lunchtime

Lunchtime. In Asia and Africa the people eat their big meal at lunch instead of supper. How stupid is this. I know. But WAIT! More people live in Asia and Africa than North America. So maybe we are the heathens, eating our giant meals in the evening time. Followed up by a nice dessert of delicious pastries. Such savages.

I think I just realized why those dudes eat their big meal at lunchtime. It's because they are poor. Give them money. Donate. Send cheque or money order to "Help The World" c/o Grant Belous at grantbelous.blogspot.com